How do I balance caring for a loved one while still caring for myself?
For Celita, who cares for her sister Jeannette, this was not an easy question to answer.
Thankfully, Celita does have support—Jeannette is one of ABC’s clients. Celita speaks warmly about her sister’s caregivers. “When she sees them, she smiles,” she says. “My sister is not always easy, and she likes to talk a lot,” Celita adds with a laugh. Still, her gratitude is clear. She deeply appreciates the caregivers who take the time to listen to everything Jeannette has to say.
Celita prepares all of Jeannette’s meals and, living in the same building, sees her multiple times throughout the day, “every minute,” she adds. Though caring for Jeannette can be demanding, Celita is grateful for the opportunity to be there for her. “I just want her to be happy and to live a long life.”
Having been a caregiver for many years, in her own profession, Celita understands the importance of encouragement, compassion, and movement. Taking walks and getting her sister out each day is a top priority. “God has made me strong,” she tells us. “I move all day, but for my sister it’s difficult, so I always encourage her to get up and move with me.”
Celita has no trouble talking about Jeannette—what she likes to eat, her vibrant personality, and the topics she enjoys discussing. But when asked what she does for herself, the question seems almost unfamiliar.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
We asked about hobbies—reading, watching a favorite show, something just for her. She laughs. “I don’t have time for TV or to read.” Then she pauses and adds, “I read my Bible and go to church.” She explains that this time is made possible because her ABC care coordinator ensures Jeannette has coverage during church hours. “I’m so grateful for that,” she says.
It’s clear that while caregiving is hard work, Celita is deeply grateful—to care for her sister, and for the aids and services ABC provides. It’s also clear that, like so many caregivers, Celita places her own needs second. Aside from church, most of her time is dedicated to Jeannette—monitoring her care, meeting her needs, and doing whatever is required. And even though the idea of prioritizing herself feels unfamiliar, it’s equally clear she wouldn’t have it any other way.
This is often the story with caregivers. They are givers at heart, and it can feel almost unnatural to place their own needs alongside—or above—those they care for.
But as caregivers, we must remember: you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Even if it feels like the energy to care for a loved one never runs out, imagine what could happen if it were replenished. Imagine how much more strength, patience, and joy could grow from taking time to care for yourself.
There’s a reason we’re told on airplanes to put our own oxygen mask on first before helping others.
Self-care may sound simple, but for natural caregivers, it can be one of the hardest things to practice. But perhaps if we begin to reframe it—if we see self-care not as something separate, but as something that ultimately benefits the person we love—then maybe it can become something that is a little easier to embrace.
Because taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re not caring for your loved one. Rather, it’s making sure you can keep showing up for them, day after day.
