Denise – One in a Million
Funny, social, full of personality and a true spitfire, Denise is one of a kind.
Despite her outgoing personality, it took some convincing to get Denise to talk about herself. A caregiver at heart, she’d much rather talk about the people she loves. But with a little encouragement, a few jokes and a friendly smile, Denise settled into her familiar kitchen chair, and we spoke as if we were old friends.
Denise grew up in Malden with her parents, brother and sister in a home her father, a carpenter, built himself. Family has always been at the center of Denise’s life. Having passed just a few years ago, Denise’s mother, who lived to be 92 is still spoken of with great affection as Denise shared with us a bit about her mother’s journey with Alzheimer’s.
Knowing firsthand how difficult it can be to care for someone you love, Denise spoke of the challenges her sister experienced that come with caregiving, including late-night phone calls and eventually making the difficult decision to move their mother into the 24-hour memory care she needed.
Though we already suspected, Denise’s independent spirit was evident from an early age.
She remembers attending “sister school,” a chapter of her childhood she describes with a laugh—and very little fondness. The spotless uniforms, long list of rules and expectations were not exactly a natural fit for Denise.
“I was sent to the corner a lot,” she recalls as we laughed at her candor.
Moving on to Malden High School, where she graduated from, was a much better fit for Denise. She remembers enjoying the freedom to choose her own clothes which also meant, perhaps more importantly, the freedom to let her personality shine.
After a brief stint working at Automatic Radio in Melrose, Denise stayed home to raise her two sons, Christopher and Shawn.
Her first son, Christopher, was born with special needs, and Denise devoted herself to caring for him for 43 years. Then, after Denise suffered a stroke, everything changed.
She faced one of the hardest decisions of her life: placing Christopher in a group home where he could receive the care he needed.
“Moving him was the hardest thing I ever did,” Denise tells us.
As she talks about Christopher, Denise’s face lights up. Though Christopher is nonverbal, Denise knows he has found his own ways to communicate and connect with the people around him and it is equally clear that he steals the heart of those he meets.
He also seems to have inherited some of Denises spirit. She tells us when she, Shawn, and Shawn’s wife Miley visit, Christopher gives Shawn and Miley a big hug, but Denise gets a simple handshake and a sideways glance.
She laughs as she tells the story.
“I would have had 10 of him.” She says. “He’s one in a million.”
There is no mistaking the love in her voice when she talks about her boys.
Shawn—her “headache,” as she affectionately calls him, is another “one in a million” son.
While ABC is there to support Denise with the care she needs, Shawn and his wife, Miley provide something equally important—the comfort of family. They help with the day-to-day details, appointments, meals and whatever else comes up, making sure Denise knows they are always just a phone call away.
Since her stroke a few years ago, Denise uses a walker to get around. Her mobility has changed, and she has experienced several falls, including a few that resulted in hospital visits.
But watching Denise move through her apartment, it is hard to believe anyone could slow her down.
She moves quickly and confidently with her walker, navigating her home with a familiarity that comes from 20 years of living there. When we joked that perhaps she was moving a little too quickly, Denise simply laughed and gave an; I know, I know response.
But the walker hasn’t taken Denise’s spirit.
Not even close.
She still loves baseball, and is a devout Red Sox fan, commenting on how there still a team hasn’t been quite like the one that built Pedro, Nomar and Jonny Damon. She loves lighthouses, James Patterson mysteries, television, a good joke and—perhaps most of all—a good conversation.
And Denise loves her independence.
Though she has lived in her Everett home for 20 years, she has recently applied for senior housing. Her second-floor apartment has become more challenging to navigate, and she looks forward to the possibility of a first-floor home that will allow her to move around more safely and independently.
For Denise, independence doesn’t mean doing everything alone. It means having a say in how she lives her life.
And believe me, Denise has a say.
She will also make sure you’re listening.
Friendship and connection are important to Denise, and those qualities are impossible to miss. She talks about the ABC caregivers and staff who visit her as though they are old friends. She has developed a particularly special relationship with one of our ABC Care Coordinators, a relationship that speaks to Denise’s ability to open herself up to people and create genuine connections.
She tells us that the ABC caregivers who come into her home often don’t want to leave.
After spending some time with Denise, we understand why.
There is something refreshing about Denise. She is genuine, funny, honest, and warm. She says what she thinks, laughs easily and has a way of making you feel like you’ve known her much longer than you actually have.
Her stroke may have changed the way Denise moves through her day, but It certainly didn’t change who she is.
